i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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