This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
