it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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