Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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