my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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