It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
