We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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