you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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