Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
