if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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