First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
