Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
