he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
