Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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