problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
