Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
