My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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