the new term for farting is butt boxing.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
