she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
