I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
ttyl tear gas
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
