I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
