i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
