if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I can text with my tongue
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm too high and old for this...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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