If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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