You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
