Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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