clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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