im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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