they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Everything about him screamed your future.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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