I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
