I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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