I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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