How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
we should paint friendship bongs
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
