The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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