she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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