Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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