Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
