My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
