Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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