he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
