I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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