fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize