She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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