i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
