well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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