opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize