I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
