she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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