in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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