I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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