Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
