Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My penis needs a shock collar
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize