I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
