My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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