We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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