I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you would pick up someone in the library
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
