Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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