where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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